


We'll be a fine line, we'll be alright

by SilverShadow1



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, HIV testing, HIV/AIDS, HIV/AIDS Crisis, Inspired by 13 Reasons Why (TV), Justin lives, M/M, Mention of Jessica Davis, Mention of Justin Foley, Post-Season/Series 04, Sort Of, There's light angst but it's only through discussion, serodiscordant relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24992197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverShadow1/pseuds/SilverShadow1
Summary: “You know, if it were 30-35 years ago, people would be wondering why it’s not us.”ORCharlie and Alex discuss Justin's HIV diagnosis and what it means for their relationship.
Relationships: (Mention only) - Relationship, Charlie St. George/Alex Standall, Jessica Davis/Justin Foley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	We'll be a fine line, we'll be alright

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, it was harder for me to write this story than I anticipated, so I'm not sure that I did it justice. Maybe that's okay, though, because at the end of the day, it felt like a conversation they would need to have, but also that it would be on that is difficult for them to navigate since they're both young and (relatively) inexperienced, especially navigating a new same-sex relationship for the first time. It's also not a one-off conversation, so they would realistically need to revisit it.
> 
> I'll stop rambling now! Hope you like it.
> 
> Title: "Fine Line" by Harry Styles

Negative.

Normally, Alex hated that word. When people called him that, he usually had a snipe prepared about how if they went through everything that he and his friends experienced, they’d spend most of their time feeling negative as well.

In most cases, being positive is considered a blessing.

So, when Alex tested negative for HIV, the whole meaning of the word was turned on its head. However, it brought about in him two contrasting emotions.

Relief and guilt.

“Talk to me, Alex,” said Charlie, softly. “I can practically hear the cogs turning in that sweet little head of yours.”

The couple were lying on a blanket in Alex’s backyard. Alex, whose head rested on Charlie’s toned stomach, said nothing as the younger boy gently carded his fingers through his brown strands. After a moment, he exhaled.

“I’m just thinking about how this is the first time in my life that I was grateful when someone told me that I’m negative.”

Charlie’s hand faltered for a second, then resumed its movement in Alex’s hair.

“Thank God for Justin always playing safe with Jessica,” said Charlie, and Alex hummed. “He really loves her a lot. I hope they go the distance.”

“They will,” said Alex, and for once there was no bitterness in his tone about it. He was truly glad that Jessica was with someone who loved her so fiercely and constantly tried to make himself a better person. Even though he would always remember how he felt used while they dated, there was no place for lingering feelings of animosity. Not after how close they were to losing it all.

“Do you think it’ll change things for them?” asked Charlie, suddenly. “Like, physical things?”

“I think it has to, but not in like, a bad or unloving way,” said Alex. “They have to be careful in a different way and they have to be more aware. Though, if I’m honest, it shouldn’t really change because everyone should already be that way, right?”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. There was something unspoken floating between them. When Alex looked up at the boy, he saw Charlie already looking at him in contemplation.

They didn’t need to pass words between them because the message was clear. Both boys were wondering, “What does it all mean for us?”

“You know, if it were 30-35 years ago, people would be wondering why it’s not us,” said Charlie, matter-of-factly.

“That’s pretty fucked up,” said Alex, though he knew his boyfriend was right. “I feel selfish for feeling relieved, though. Relieved that we don’t have to live in fear. Relieved that the first time for us is a complete blank slate, you know?”

Charlie hummed and Alex still felt his mind whirling.

“How do you imagine our first time?” He looked up at Charlie, who returned his gaze with contemplation.

“Full of love,” said Charlie, finally. “That’s it, really. I suppose I haven’t thought further because I don’t think any amount of thinking can predict what the first time is like with the person who you love most. Have you thought about it?”

Alex nodded slightly, looking away with flushed cheeks.

“A bit,” he said. “These last few weeks when I didn’t know what would come from the results. I know that I want to be with you like that more than anything, but … I’m still apprehensive. Not about you,” he said, quickly, but Charlie kissed his knuckles.

“I know, love,” said Charlie, and Alex detected no malice in his tone. “I’d be lying if I said all of this didn’t give me pause as well. When we’re ready, we’ll do it right, though. We’ll know when it’s time, too. There’s no pressure - we’ve got forever.”

Alex smiled up at him, his stomach fluttering at the thought of spending a lifetime getting closer to Charlie. A lifetime of learning every inch of his body and soul. For once, “forever” felt like an actual blessing rather than a never-ending curse.

“Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! Feel free to submit a story prompt.


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